8 Surprising Harmful Effects of Excessive Generosity

 

we are taught that because we have the ability to reason we should give share and prioritize being generous over our selfish interests but who warns us about the hazards of being overly kind and compassionate we live in a world where we don't always get back what we give because it's full with kind individuals who see how indiscriminate giving drains them both financially and energetically could being overly generous threaten our own lives be surprised by the UN foreseen negative consequences of compassion let us proceed to number one without further Ado people will have unrealistic expectations of you the stoics highlighted the importance of accepting one's circumstances and not basing one's pleasure on the acts of others you prevent disappointment and cultivate emotional Detachment by giving without expecting too much in return which leads to better peace of mind we find it difficult to be entirely unselfish in our generosity whether intentionally or unconsciously when we give our best we expect others to do the same when we require something critical however you've conditioned others to expect you to do everything for them so they'll assume you can handle everything both in their life and your own particularly your own why else would you be taking on other people's responsibilities the truth is that your expectations of reciprocity will not be realized and you will experience a foul mood tiredness irritation and disappointment people aren't failing you however if we view it objectively they are doing what you should be doing they are attending to their own Obligations number two people will only expect you to give them anything if you give them something according to the stoics True Value derives from acting in accordance with virtue and reason rather than simply pandering to others expectations moderation ation and balanced giving allow you to maintain control over your own activities and avoid getting into routines that deplete your emotional well-being you've always heard that humans are creatures of habit never more clearly defined humans are hardwired to adapt to a pattern a way of life and a cacophony of events going on around them this adaptability is where the concept of the comfort zone comes from this means that if you become accustomed to giving all of the time the recipient of your generosity will expect you to do it all of the time you'll lure others into their various Comfort zones and they'll abandon many of their responsibilities because you'll be there to fulfill them the issue you'll confront in this instance is not appreciating yourself since if you don't it's rare that someone will look you in the eyes and encourage you to Value yourself more at the very least don't anticipate this kind of empathy from those you help because they will adhere to their particular Robinhood which will cost them their life number three your priorities will be ignored the significance of living in Conformity with reason and virtue was highlighted by the stoics setting limits and prioritizing our own obligations is critical to keeping balance and avoiding sacrificing our authenticity and well-being for the sake of others you may find yourself running away from something within you that causes you anguish and anxiety if you give your all to other people's goals what emotions do you feel when you spend the weekend alone or come home every day knowing no one is expecting you if the source of such diversity is a desire to escape from yourself the blow will be doubly painful because on the one hand you'll eventually have to confront your inner self while on the other hand your bad mood will worsen as you begin to neglect your own priorities in order to attend to those of others self-care is a critical component in achieving happiness before you can soothe others you must first guarantee that you are comfortable pampered and well taken care of that is never give someone chocolate unless you have first really enjoyed it yourself you come first then the rest of the world just as you shouldn't offer to clean a friend's house without first cleaning your own and watching a wonderful movie while sipping a glass of wine fourth you will be perceived as weak and treated accordingly stoicism inspires us to develop inner strength and self-control we may show others that we are committed to our own obligations and ideals by setting boundaries and exhibiting self-discipline earning their respect rather than being viewed as weak if you help too many people over time you may be perceived as an authority figure in the field where you collaborate with others you can be providing the opposite impression because when you don't set boundaries people regard you as weak much like the antithesis of a leader so much so that they'll look to you to offload their obligations knowing there's no possibility of you declining on the contrary as soon as you start using the this magical word they will begin to feel something for you that they had never imagined experiencing before fth you'll have a lot of them but only the ones who come to you when they need something stoicism teaches us the importance of discernment and wisdom by using self-control and impartiality in deciding who to assist we may distinguish real people from those looking to take advantage avoiding wasting our resources in ineffective situations those who once considered you a good friend begin to exclude you from enjoyment and turn to you just when they need something from a calculating standpoint it's not that unlikely that this will happen to you as people rarely invite their colleagues and collaborators to have coffee with them much alone have a beer of course what is happening to you is logical but it is not fair as a result you must learn to handle the tactics I'll provide with you at the conclusion to avoid people from using you sixth you will only attract individuals who are in need never those who are willing to give we may create real and mutually beneficial relationships through stoic Insight people enter our life in reaction to the vibrations of our energy that is if our vibration is low we attract negative pessimists with evil spirits and malign purposes when our vibrations are high however we attract others who are full of positive energy generosity excitement hard work work and Delight that is why when we give indiscriminately we lose so much energy that we begin vibrating at a low frequency attracting needy people and even opportunists who have no intention let alone the resources to help and only come to extract everything they can from us and then vanish so they don't even have to bother thanking you seventh you might develop an addiction the stoics advocated for self-control and moderation self-discipline and generosity allows us to avoid addictive Tendencies and preserve a healthy relationship with our actions and decisions when scarcity becomes a part of our daily life the need grows and this is the greatest scenario for becoming addicted as a result someone Close to You may notice one day that you're drinking too much not necessarily mineral water or eating too much or perhaps gambling too much pay close attention to what someone who cares about you says because your first instinct may be to become enraged and claim that you have no difficulties however this is the most common reaction of people who are so engrossed in their own problems that they are unable to acknowledge the existence of one remember that those who care about you simply want the best for you so take their observations seriously because they are there to assist you in stopping falling and moving forward number eight you'll raise suspicions stoicism teaches us to act virtuously no matter how others judge us we develop a true reputation that that is resistant to unwarranted suspicions by focusing on living in accordance with our principles and values as much as we wish things were otherwise the truth is that genuine good people are scarce in this world as a result if you are one you will arouse suspicion rather than respect and gratitude it won't be long before people begin to wonder what's going on with you and what hidden objectives you have that you don't express to anyone this suggests you've come across a group of suspicious folks not NE necessarily but they're more likely to be reasonable most too eager people conceal such ghoulish motives that it's wise to avoid them and decline the assistance they offer let's have a look at some tactics for preventing others from utilizing you first and foremost pay attention to your emotions they are speaking to you in accordance with the stoic concept of self-awareness take note of your emotions and feelings the stoics felt that self-reflection was essential for understanding one's reactions and wants you may detect if you're overly and emotionally straining yourself by listening to your feelings allowing you to change your attention and reach a healthy balance what emotions do you have when you assist others thinking yourself and prioritizing oneself is such an altruistic act that doing so should make you feel as if you're walking on clouds so whether you're feeling overwhelmed drained of energy angry or used it's time to pay attention to your emotions if something to which you have no commitment causes you so much suffering you must not deceive yourself in order to learn how the assistance you are providing affects your well-being strategy number two is to overcome your aversion to the word no recognize that your time and energy are valuable and must be allocated carefully and in a balanced manner as taught by the stoics saying no when you are overwhelmed or when the request is unreasonable is a good method to exercise self-control even if the the word no is connected with negativity and pessimism it is natural for us to struggle with saying it however if we do not cultivate the skill to speak this word when someone expects more of us than we can offer negativity will become our life practice in front of the mirror until you're convinced that it's the only way to reclaim your Independence and avoid unneeded and potentially dangerous risks third strategy there is a time and a place for you they must be respected following the stoic principles of self-discipline and self-respect it is critical to make time and space for yourself do what you enjoy yoga drawing listening to music while drinking tea whatever stimulates you and finish your obligations as quickly as possible so you can practice this is something you should take seriously just like you would schedule this time daily or weekly as a result if you are asked to assist someone during that time you must be very respectful and Cooperative with yourself not with the person so you say no without sorrow and enjoy that time and space to yourself you can offer your assistance another time if you don't want to be so direct make it obvious however that your availability will be limited because you have a life to attend to Fourth strategy identify energy vampires and isolate yourself from them following the stoic ideals of self-discipline and judgment it is critical to understand which connections serve you and which emotionally deplete you you are taking care of your personal well-being and applying stoic self-control in your relationships by separating yourself from people that constantly drain your energy and do not contribute constructively you should know that trying to help an energy vampire would not work these folks overwhelm you with their complains their aches and their pessimistic outlook on life forget about assisting them they don't want to solve their problem problems because it would require them to quit moaning that would be unacceptable to them finally according to stoic wisdom the ideal measure for anything in life is always the middle ground and generosity is no exception when we offer too little we appear selfish and greedy while when we give too much we are fully depleted of energy time and certainly money so gravitate toward graze which are still the ideal Hues for striking a balance between prioritizing others and ourselves and remember the golden word no when in doubt especially if they're offering to drive you home from the car window we've arrived at the end of this adventure and I genuinely hope these suggestions are helpful to you remember that you are an important component of our channel so if this video has aided you made you think or taught you something please give it a thumbs up so that additional people can benefit from the powers of stoic knowledge subscribe and make comments if you haven't already remember that in the course of personal development every small step matters let's shatter the