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 Date: 28 Aug 2003 11:20:06 -0000  From: Captain_nibiru@yahoogroups.com | To: Captain_nibiru@yahoogroups.com  Subject: [Captain_nibiru] Digest Number 460            There are 6 messages in this issue. Topics in this digest:       1. Re: millions of fish washing up - no oxygen in water            From: "jorune_98" <jorune_98@yahoo.com>       2. Fule for the Fire - Identify this ?1?            From: gabehernandez9       3. EARTHCHANGES-CENTREAL-GROUP            From: "captain_nibiru_2003" <dewerly@yahoo.com>       4. NEWS UPDATES!            From: "captain_nibiru_2003" <dewerly@yahoo.com>       5. Point of No Return            From: "captain_nibiru_2003" <dewerly@yahoo.com>       6. Si...

    The Haircut > One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. When he tried to > pay the bill, the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm > doing community service this week." > The florist said, "Thank you," and left the shop. > When the barber got to his shop the next morning, there was a "thank > you" card and a dozen roses waiting by the door. > Later that day, a cop came in for a haircut. When he tried to pay his > bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm > doing community service this week." > The cop said, "Thank you," and left the shop. > When the barber got to his shop the next morning, there was a "thank > you" card and a dozen doughnuts waiting by the door. > That day, a Congressman came in for a haircut; and when he tried to > pay his bill, the barber replied again, "I cannot accept money from > you. I'm do...

 ===========================================================================  BBS: Close Encounters/UFO Date: 06-03-96 (18:01)             Number: 7173 From: DON ALLEN                    Refer#: NONE   To: ALL                           Recvd: NO   Subj: Free beer!                     Conf: (22) FIDO UFO I --------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Forwarded from FLAME * Originally By: Nighthawk * Originally To: All * Originally Re: Free beer! * Originally Dated: Sunday June 02 1996 11:13 __________________________________________________________________ A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what t...

  I’ve never had a re-heading go this horribly before. I’d say I’m pretty good at a beheading- I may have broken a neck once or twice, but never any parts I actually liked or intended on keeping, and usually, a re-heading is the easiest thing, right? Just a little squish and pop and done, a complete person. But this time it just- it just won’t go back on the body??  Which is incredibly frustrating but also, like, why?? And the funniest thing is, I’m not even swapping ahead!! This is a curvy dancer's head going onto a curvy dancer's body!! They match!! This should have been so simple!! But no, this head’s just flopping around like a limp flaccid idiot and my hands are all red and sore now but the head just isn’t attaching all the way!! Today I did six beheadings and two other reheadings, and I wanted to get this one attached so I could take a picture, but somehow it just isn’t working!! The head is just getting squished around but isn’t stretching over the neck right!! And I’m ...

  By Order Of The President...   President Donald J. Trump so ordered today...   The Department of the Air Force issued orders today to Chief Master Sergeant S. Claus, recalling him to active duty, with a RNLTD of 24 Dec 2020.   Chief Claus, known to use the alias “Saint Nicholas”, “Kris Kringle”, “Father Christmas”, or simply “Santa”, is a reservist, with 1,743 years of service. He specializes as a tactical operator of the next generation DEC-25B, Cargo Airborne Delivery (CAnDY) Carrier.    The DEC-25B is contractor-modified and fully equipped with Cargo Antlered Navigation Equipment Sensors (CANES). It has also been retrofitted with eight high-powered, air-cooled Rangifer Tarandus carrot-fed generators. As a single seat cargo delivery platform, it is capable of vertical delivery of high-value items, take-off and landing without pilot controlled lighting (PCL).    These unique specifications, coupled with the additional Public Affairs skill sets ...

Thirteen Days of Halloween TFs 2: Day3 Pumpkinhead As she walked through the pumpkin patch she couldn’t help but feel at unease, there was a ominous sense of foreboding that pervaded the area despite the bright sunny day. Maybe it was the fact that the nearest farm was many miles away and that she had just stumbled on the seemingly abandoned patch while walking down a different road than usual on a brisk fall walk. Maybe it was the fact she felt drawn to it, like she couldn’t turn away if she tried. Maybe it was the green vines wrapped around her ankle and snaking their way up her overalls. The strange immobilizing fog lifted and she became aware of the plants encroaching on her, she tried to pull them away but ended up tripping herself and falling face first into a pumpkin. The flesh of the gourd was softer than she had imagined and the sudden whack of pain from face planting the vegetable never happened. Instead she felt the soft slimy mush of pumpkin guts on her face and th...

Millennials. They may not yet be the present, but they’re certainly the future. These young, uninitiated minds will someday soon become our politicians, doctors, scientists, chefs, television producers, fashion designers, manufacturers, and, one would hope, the new proponents of liberty.  But are they ready for it? Time after time, particularly on college campuses, millennials have proven to be little more than entitled, spoiled, anti-intellectual brats who place far too much emphasis on feelings and nowhere near enough emphasis on critical thinking. To the millennial, words are cause for the creation of safe spaces, alternative ideas must be stifled, and anything they perceive to be a microaggression is enough to send them spiraling into a state of mental distress. It’s time millennials understood these 7 harsh realities of life so we don’t end up with a generation of gutless adult babies running the show. 1. Your Feelings Are Largely Irrelevant Seriously, nobody...

Delusional democrats are doing everything in their power right now to link Hurricane Matthew to global warming, and the best example of the nonsense we're witnessing on all this is found in a broadcast segment featuring NBC's Ron Allen, a democrat operative who pretends to be a journalist. While covering Obama's comments on the Paris climate change agreement,  Allen stated that Obama's efforts were designed to stop hurricanes , as if somehow paying carbon taxes to Al Gore will halt the spinning of the Earth and the sun's warming of the oceans -- those are the two primary forces resulting in hurricanes, which exist on EVERY planet in the cosmos that has an atmosphere, a sun and some rotational momentum. Hurricanes exist on EVERY planet with an atmosphere, sunlight and rotation Yes, science buffs,  hurricanes existed long before mankind ever came along . Hurricanes are the natural result of basic physics on any planet containing water, an atmosphere and sunli...