top 8 Phrases to Shut Down the Narcissists/Toxic People

 Getting into a drama battle with a narcissist to me is like stepping in quicksand.

 The ground may look solid, but one step into the quicksand and it’s obvious that it is not solid ground. And the interesting thing about quicksand is you don’t really have a danger unless you struggle. in other, words unless you start having reactions to being in the quicksand and your emotions start getting elevated, you start going into distress, you start panicking the more you move around, the more you sink, a kind of feel like that’s what happens when you are sucked into a drama battle with a narcissist.

 If you fall for any of the narcissist manipulation tactics which I recently did an article where I talked about seven of them if you haven’t read that article make sure you take a look at that. This is how narcissus operates in conversations.

So, if you fall for any one of them, that’s one foot into the quicksand. Once you fall for one of their strategies the temptation is to try to get through to the narcissist, to try to be logical to get them to see logic so that everything is resolved. That’s like struggling harder in the quicksand and thinking that you’re actually helping yourself.

 So, it’s time to stop falling for those strategies and start engaging in strategies of your own, strategies that are designed to help you to stay grounded, to help you to make sure that you continue to be you despite provocation, strategies that help you to feel like you’re in emotional control of yourself despite having somebody trying to push you over the edge emotionally.

These are eight statements that you can say at any given time when you sense a drama battle coming on.

• You can say when
• You sense a drama battle
• Coming on

Let’s talk about them, let’s say you’re trying to make a point to the narcissist, and they don’t validate you but rather they blame shift, they accuse you of something.

Rather than try to convince them that they’re wrong you can say something like “you’re allowed to feel that way or thank you for letting me know how you feel” and then stay focused on your point. After using this line when the narcissist starts to blame shift simply say something like “well I just wanted you to know how I feel”

 The temptation is to make sure that they know, to make sure that they get you but they won’t. They know that you want that so they will do what narcissus does, they will give you the opposite of what you want, but since we need to express ourselves say “well I just wanted you to know how I felt” that’s it, end the conversation.

If the narcissist is going on and on about something, and they’re completely false, they’re saying things that are just ridiculous that have nothing to do with anything, you can simply say” I hear you thank you for expressing your viewpoint” and that’s it.

By saying that you are not agreeing with their viewpoint, by saying that you are not discrediting your own viewpoint, but you are releasing the urge, the need to somehow have the same viewpoint as the narcissist which will never happen.

When the narcissist name calls and they do, and they will some more covertly, some more overtly. When they say something that’s painful to you, you are such a selfish person,all you think about is yourself, you are so cruel, you’re the one that’s causing all the problems, this family would be happy if it wasn’t for you. No matter what they’re projecting into you, no matter what they’re accusing you of. Rather, than step into that quicksand of trying to help them to see that that’s false.

 Remember, you don’t need their stamp of approval to hold on to your reality. So, an awesome statement to say “I’m sorry you feel that way” you are such an evil person. The narcissist says to me “I’m sorry you feel that way”

 I can’t tell you how empowering it is to answer a narcissist like that, because when you do that you are not absorbing their insult, you are recognizing that it is an insult because we’re not stupid right, but you’re noticing that it’s their thought and that it has nothing to do with how you see things.

When you say that “mom sorry you feel that way” you’re also helping your mind to see that it is not your responsibility to convince them of the truth. Especially, when you know that you could have all the evidence in the world, and they will never see the truth, they will run from the truth because they don’t really want the truth. When you accept that you say that statement “I’m sorry you feel that way” and you will feel so grounded.

If you’re handling things like this, if you’re putting into practice these strategies. You’re going to feel calm, you’re going to feel together and your thinking ability is going to be clear. When we’ve been arguing and spinning in conversations with narcissists, spinning, and spinning. It’s almost like we think we’re losing our minds. But when we have these strategies and we actually are enforcing them or putting them into practice. We have a lot of mental clarity, we feel very together.

 When we feel that way something interesting happens. You know how I always talk about how when we start losing our emotional control when we start to get exasperated, frustrated, angry, emotional. The more we get like that, the calmer the narcissist is, right? Well, the opposite is true as well. The calmer we are, the more in control we are, the narcissus is going to get angrier.

So, with that said I want you to know that these strategies are not to make the narcissist happy. My goal in life is not to help you to make a narcissist happy, my goal is to help you be happy, help you be the best you that you can be. And these strategies will help but they because the narcissist extreme distress, because you are no longer carrying their pathology, they are not able to put in you who they are.

 Those statements are meant to keep the narcissist as the narcissist and you as you, and they don’t like that. So, be prepared for that.

If the narcissist begins to disagree with you and make you feel like your reality cannot be true unless you have their stamp of approval, rather than over-explaining resist the urge to over-explain, you simply say “I agree to disagree or I choose to see things differently” they will be in shock that you respond that way because they have trained you to think that you have to think like them, they have enmeshed.

You think that you have to have the same thoughts, you have to have the same viewpoint you may not realize that’s how you think or that’s how you feel. But every time you feel like you have to over-explain to somebody that’s denying you your view and your reality. It’s because you think that you need them to agree with you.

That’s their lie, that they have lied and convinced you on a subconscious level that you cannot feel a certain way unless they agree.

Once you realize that it breaks you free of trying to over-explain, of trying to get through, of trying to have a logical conversation with an illogical person, you’re free of those traps, and you’re able to be you.

 I challenge you, anyone that’s still in the relationship put it into practice. Those that are out of the relationship did any of these strategies help you please don’t forget to share this article with your family and friends