So I did a year of the whole college thing. This is what I learned

So I did a year of the whole college thing. This is what I learned.

1. It’ll be tempting to fall into the first group of people you find. Don’t. When your body says something is wrong, listen to it. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. There are a lot of things that are important when it comes to friendship. But in my experience, loyalty is above all. If they don’t have your back, if you can’t trust them, you have to leave and never look back. Never give a mile of yourself for someone else’s inch. I’m dealing with the result of trusting people that I shouldn’t have - with my feelings and my time - and it’s painful extricating myself from that situation. Save yourself the heartache and find people who love you unconditionally and have your back unconditionally.

2. You might find college academics harder than high school. You might find them easier. I found the academics easier but college itself? Hard as shit. Because suddenly, it’s all on you. Whether you eat or do laundry or stay hydrated or exercise or go out or do homework - it’s all on you. And that’s what’s truly overwhelming about college. You are officially the curator of your own destiny and that control is terrifying. You’ve been begging for it your entire life but you won’t know what to do with it when you get it. You have to find your balance. And it won’t be like anyone else’s. It is yours and yours alone. I can’t tell you what it is, your parents can’t, your friends can’t.

3. And now that your destiny is in your own hands, it’ll be easy to be scared. To compare yourself to others. To wonder if you’re doing all the right things. if you’re doing any of the right things. Don’t fall into that trap. Your path is different than others, no lesser and no better. It is yours and it’s exhausting and pointless to compare it to others. You won’t do everything right and you’ll have to find a way to be okay with that. Failure is nothing but a reason to keep moving forward.

4. Find the things that make you happy and keep up with them. It’s going to be really easy to lose sight of the things that keep you happy and sane. But when your professors drive you crazy and your friends get on your last nerves and your parents drive you up a finely spiked wall, you’re gonna need those things. You’ve got to hold onto them in the middle of everything.

5. And of course some practical things - do your homework. Go to class. You’re paying to be there. Get the advantages that a good gpa and a college degree offers. Parties really aren’t that fun. Drugs are scary and disorienting. Alcohol is momentarily fun but can be permanently debilitating. Have fun but don’t be afraid if you don’t like what other people pretend to love, in the wise words of emma watson. Eat as healthily as you possibly can. Drink lots of water. Get sleep. If you have to choose between an assignment and your mental health, choose yourself. Choose good professors first, classes second. A good professor can make you like a shitty subject; a bad one will tank your gpa and ruin your love for a subject you used to adore. Do extracurriculars - but only the ones you love and want to get seriously involved in. Quality not quantity is real. Employers want to see leadership not blind membership. Do service. Not just because it looks good but because it feels good and the world sorely needs it.

6. And finally, believe the cliché and be yourself. Because maybe you change to fit the world. And maybe it works and the world accepts you. But it is infinitely better to be happy and alone than with people who don’t see you for you. you will hate it and you will be miserable and I’ve done it and I don’t wish it on anyone. You’ve gotta trust that you’ll find your people. I did. and trust me when I say if I can, anyone can.