tony stark

I think a lot of people believe Tony is arrogant because of his flippant attitude and tongue-in-cheek blustering, but many of his actions (which speak louder than words) demonstrate a remarkable lack of ego.

• Makes Pepper Potts CEO of Stark Industries [he trusts her more than himself to run his company]
• “Dead for almost 20 years, and still taking me to school.” [could take credit for the New Element, but emphasizes he ‘re’discovered it]
• Lays on the wire in The Avengers to save New York City when redirecting the nuclear bomb into the wormhole [after Steve said Tony isn’t the kind of man to do that] 
• “I…I’m just a man in a can.” [said while vulnerable]
• “Actually, he’s the boss. [points to Steve]  I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.” 
• “Like the old man said. Together.” 
• “Ultron. My fault.” [takes sole accountability for the Sokovia disaster, even though Bruce also helped]
• The entirety of Civil War in general. Tony believes that the Avengers should have oversight. Handing authority of the Avengers to a Council is not the action of an egoist who thinks he’s always right (!!!) He’s basically admitting they can, and have, made mistakes and need to be put in check.
• Asks Peter for a plan on how to rescue Strange in infinity War – and that’s the plan they use. 
• Goes with Quill’s plan on Titan in Infinity War, even though he didn’t seem to have a high opinion of the guardians. 
• Tries to stop Strange from handing over the Time Stone in Infinity War, even though that’s what spared his life.

I mean, time and time again, Tony tries to be a team player, listens to others, and exhibits self-deprecating behavior. When he was dying in Iron Man 2, he went on a destructive binge to force everyone who loved him away so they wouldn’t care when he was gone. I mean… !??!?!? Like, ego? Where!? 

Iron Man is more than a suit of armor. It’s a metaphor for who Tony Stark is as a person: cold and hard on the outside, but warm and soft on the inside. He uses his arrogance as a shield to protect himself–to deceive people into thinking he’s not as vulnerable as he really is. 

It reminds me of this quote: 

“The difference between ‘Iron Man’ and some other movies is that there’s no spider bite; there’s no magic bullet where a hero is born. We had to build him. We wanted people to remember that there’s a person inside that suit, and it will hurt if he falls.”

It boggles me when that’s lost on some. Like, yeah, Tony’s a messy character, and he’s certainly a hard pill to swallow because he can be downright acrimonious, but he feels so deeply. He’s easily wounded. He’s one of the most emotionally-driven superheroes. That’s why everything he’s done has taken such a toll on him. It’s why he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s why he has anxiety attacks. He wants so badly to do good and save the people he loves – even at the cost of his own sanity and comfort. Every time he fails, it destroys more and more of what little self-worth he has.

What kind of selfish egoist does that?