The Donut Law

 The Donut Law

 

At this time, you are finding yourself in the presence of a specialist.  Specialists know a lot about everything and much more.  We know that you think you know everything already but if you stick around long enough, you might just pick up a few things and learn that you know nothing. 

If you think that this comes free, you are terribly mistaken.  Walking amongst us is a privilege and comes at a high price which some have thought to be not worth paying.  These people are either are not with us anymore, or are shunned and taunted until their life is a living hell.

We are offering you a chance of acquiring a vast amount of knowledge and maybe in time a chance to call yourself a “specialist” too by abiding by the “Donut Law”.

It will take time, dedication, hard labor and a humble and respectful attitude.  If you think you cannot handle this, be aware because the eyes of the “specialists” are upon you.

 

When to buy:

1.              You have received your first paycheck.

2.              You have finished a course (whether successful or not).

3.              You have made a stupid mistake and we found out about it. (We always find out).

4.              You have had your first field trip and received flight pay.

5.              You have become a newly licensed engineer.

6.              Avipro Helicopters Ltd has hired you.

7.              It is your birthday.

8.              You became engaged or married (how stupid can you get).

9.              If you are or become a pilot (you must be crazy).

10.           Anytime we deem it necessary.

 

Donuts are to be bought just before the coffee break so they are fresh and offered for consumption at 10:00 AM in the office.

 

Where to buy:

Donuts are to be bought at Tim Horton’s.  We do not mind you buying donuts elsewhere and we will eat them but you will have to buy more at Tim Horton’s to satisfy the law’s requirements.  The nearest one is at Gasoline Alley.

 

How many to buy:

You are required to buy one dozen donuts.  At times, (when there are many of us in the building) you will need to buy more or add a bag of bagels.  We advise you to inquire about the needed amount at time of purchase so you do not have to go back to get more.  You will need to coordinate your purchase with others who also need to buy.  We do not mind having six dozen but it usually means there are none the next day.

 

Which to buy:

Just buying assorted is not good enough because you will end up with ones we do not like.  Observing previous donut purchases is recommended to find out which ones not to buy.

We advise you to buy apple fritters, chocolate dip, double chocolate dip, and sour cream.

 

This is the law and you will abide by it.

The donut law is subject to change without notice and will be strictly enforced by the Donut Police. 

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