snowman

 


 

SNOWMAN
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We received about 20 inches of snow this week. So……….

 

8:00 am: I made a snowman.
 
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
 
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
 
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
 
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
 
8:22 - The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
 
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures.
 
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
 
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
 
8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson.
 
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
 
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
 
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
 
8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
 
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.
 
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
 
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
 
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
 
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media
 
10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...
 
 
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

 

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