dog food diet

I was at Walmart a few minutes ago to buy a large bag of Purina dog food for my Beagles and while waiting in the checkout line a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I'm thinking, what do you think lady…. No I have a pet elephant at home! Since I had nothing better to do than entertain myself, on impulse, I told her I share the food with my dogs but I was again starting the Purina Diet. I then quickly added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time I did this diet…. losing 27 pounds, awakening in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of my nose and mouth and an IV in my arm.
Everyone in line was clearly dipping into my conversation to hear my crazy story as I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works was so simple. "Load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and eat one or two whenever you are hungry… The food is nutritionally balanced and it worked so well I thought I'd try it again!"
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital because because the dog food poisoned me. I told her "no", I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her in line was going to blow a gasket he was laughing so hard!!

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