Funny One Liners



 1. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what
    happens when you turn on the headlights?

 2. When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack
    it in?

 3. Why are there Braille signs on drive‑up ATM's?

 4. If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a
    pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

 5. How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

 6. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

 7. After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before
    getting out of the water?
    
 8. If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with
    sushi?
    
 9. What's another word for synonym?
    
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill
    himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their
    picket signs?

12. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

13. Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

14. Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes
    don't have a row 13, but book publishers aren't afraid
    to have a Chapter 11?

15. How can there be self help groups?

16. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when
    you can't drink and drive?

17. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
    prohibited there?

18. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

19. Why is it that when you transport something by car, its
    called a shipment, but when you  transport something by
    ship, its called cargo?

20. Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

21. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

22. Where are Preparations A through G?

23. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

24. If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

23. When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you
    supposed to throw the top one away?

24. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does
    he wonder why you're just  sitting there, staring at

    carpeting?

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