7 Things Narcissists Do When You Ignore Them

 

1.  Smear campaign

If you take your attention away from the narcissist, they will smear you. Even if you stop talking to them for just a short period of time, the narcissist will run to anyone who will listen. They will tell them horrible things about you. They will say that you’re a liar or cheater, and they will try to make people think that you’re crazy. Narcissists usually turn the tables on what actually happened between you and them so that it favors them.

 They do this to gain sympathy from other people because it gives them a narcissistic supply. They will spread rumors and gossip and they can talk to other people about you for hours. And they enjoy talking about other people’s private lives, and they always manage to find people who also enjoy gossiping. Narcissists always manage to find people who believe what they’re saying.

 These people are known as the flying monkeys, and they will often come after you. They do the dirty work on behalf of the narcissist. Many of them are narcissistic but some of them don’t even know what they’re doing. If they contact you, it’s because the narcissist has told them to do that, and they have already been fed the false narrative by the narcissist. Some of them know exactly what they’re doing, but others are not fully aware of how their behavior might be affecting you. They just want you to reach out to the narcissist. They want you to help or support them.

 The narcissist may even contact your friends and family. They will say horrible things about you, and they will say that you’ve just abandoned them. Whenever you ignore the narcissist, they’re always going to tell people that you’re doing something wrong. They’re not going to see it as though you need space, not going to see it as though it’s an effect of their behavior.

 When the narcissist knows that you won’t talk to them directly, they will enforce their flying monkeys or they will contact your family and friends. They don’t care about your self-preservation. They don’t care that you need time to yourself. All they care about is their own feelings and needs, so they will do whatever it takes to pull you back in regardless of how it affects you.

2. They will look for a new supply

 When you ignore the narcissist, they will find someone else to listen to all their problems. They will dump all of their negativity onto someone else, but their new supply may often be just as toxic as they are, so they may enjoy talking about you with the narcissist. They may enjoy the gossip, or even if the new supply is a decent person, they may get a sense of reward from feeling like they are helping them.

 The narcissist will play the victim. They will give sob stories to the new supply. They will say things to make the new supply feel sorry for them so that they would help the narcissist- they want to fix them. The narcissist will then triangulate you with a new supply. They will do this to make you want to come back. And they will do it to get a reaction out of you. They’re just looking for a response, they’re trying to bait you in, they’re trying to entice you because they don’t like it when you ignore them. They want your attention, and they want you to talk to them.

 3. Hoovering

 If you don’t fall for the bait, eventually the narcissist will be forced to hoover you. This could take a few weeks or a few months, but they will only hoover you if you don’t fall for the bait and if you don’t fall for their attempts to entice you.

 When they hover you, it may be over the phone or through text. But if you’ve read enough of my articles, you will have realized that there’s nothing you can say to a narcissist. Your only option is to block them.

 4. Stalking

 If you don’t respond to the hoover attempts and you continue to ignore the narcissist, they will stalk you. Sometimes they won’t even reach out to you but they will be watching you on social media because they see you as their possession. They see it as though they own you, as though you belong to them. So they believe that they have the right to monitor you and they believe that they have the right to track your movements.

 5. Apology

 In some situations, they may even give you a fake apology. They may give you a fake epiphany as though they finally realize what they did wrong. And they will do anything to pull you back in so that they can continue to abuse you. They may bring back the love bombing. They may use future faking. And they will tell you whatever they think you want to hear, but it’s never genuine or sincere. They don’t care about anyone but themselves.

 6. Wanting to rave

 They will shout and complain angrily and at length, and sometimes this will go on for hours because they have no control over their own emotions. Narcissists spend more time complaining about things than actually taking action because they can’t get past their own thoughts and feelings. They will give you all of the reasons why you’re a bad person and why they don’t want you. They will call you a liar or cheater, and they will project their bad behavior onto you, but what they’re saying never makes any sense because if you were such a bad person, why wouldn’t they just leave you alone?

 Narcissists cannot deal with rejection. If you ignore the narcissist, they will attack you and they will criticize you. They need to attempt to explain or justify your behavior as though it’s a component of your character rather than being an effect of something they did to you. They have to tell themselves that you’re no good anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t want them.

 7. They will ignore you

 If all else fails, they will just ignore you. You won’t hear from them again, and they will find someone else who is more susceptible to them in ablation, someone who doesn’t know what they’re about. They will see you as a lost cause, someone who they can no longer manipulate, someone who is too smart.

 When you cause a narcissistic injury, they won’t want anything to do with you anyway. They will give you the silent treatment and they will treat you with contempt. Once you injure their dignity and pride, they will never see you the same way after that. If you bruise their ego, they’re not going to come back.